Calendar Check: Keeping the Family on Course

Countless family squabbles have been sparked by misunderstandings about who’s got to be where and when, who’s picking up whom, when special events are planned, etc. Fortunately, many of these familial clashes can be avoided with some planning and simple tools. Following are some tips that can help.

Share a calendar. “The number one recommendation I make to families struggling to keep all the moving
parts harnessed is to set up a family calendar,” says clinical psychologist Alicia Clark. Having a single
calendar source that everyone in the family can see and access will help to reduce conflicts and keep
everyone organized.

Put it on the wall. Whether they use a store-bought calendar, a big sheet of chart paper, a dry-erase board or something similar, many families find it helpful to have a physical calendar in a central location where everyone can see and amend it as necessary.

Go digital. On the other hand, these days a lot of families are going digital, tapping into the many online calendar options ranging from the calendar function in multi-faceted platforms like the Google suite or scheduling apps designed specifically for families, such as Cozi or Busy Kid. Others to check out include OurHome and Picniic. As you investigate these and other options, keep in mind the ages that need to use it, other features you might like to have included in your calendar app, whether it can be accessed from mobile devices, and whether it’s engaging enough to make your family members want to use it.

Sync up. If you do go digital, make sure everyone is set up to sync automatically with the app, or that
everyone knows how to sync regularly.

Agree on how events are added. Will one person be in charge of making actual calendar changes, or does everyone have editing access? Will the calendar be updated on the go, or only once a week, when everyone knows what’s going on? Have an explicit plan for making updates so everyone knows what to expect … and to eliminate blaming when things inevitably go away.

Check in before bed. Every evening, touch base with everyone to make sure everyone is up to speed on what’s happening the next day. This gives everyone a chance to catch misunderstandings before they turn into disasters.

Have a weekly huddle. In addition to the daily check-in, it’s good to have a weekly “family meeting” to discuss the coming week and, again, to make sure the shared calendar is up to date.

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