Talk About It: The Key to Emotionally Healthy Families
Over the past few years, we’ve learned to talk more openly about our mental health and to recognize the role it plays in well-being. At the same time, we’ve developed a greater understanding that families can grow stronger by strengthening their collective emotional and mental health.
With this understanding has come a consistent theme: Open and frank communication is essential for emotionally healthy families. If your family is not able to have honest discussions about mental health issues (and – let’s be honest – most aren’t), tap into any resources you have available that can guide you through the process. Once you have that open communication, you’ll be better equipped to embrace the following strength-building steps.
Start at the top. You can’t help your family get emotionally healthy if you’re not taking care of your own mental health needs. Address any challenges you’re facing first.
Set boundaries about how you’ll interact. Being family doesn’t mean you can say anything to each other. Set clear boundaries about how family members treat each other, built on a respect for individuality, privacy, compassion and simple civility. If someone crosses the line, talk about what happened and how it could have been handled better.
Express emotions but do so with control. Some of families’ biggest problems can come from what we don’t say to each other … until we lose control. We hold in emotions until we have emotional outbursts in which we say things we shouldn’t and leave scars we’ll later regret. By discussing emotions calmly when we can, we save a lot of emotional pain.
Support each other. Showing support for each other – rooting for a sibling at a sports event, listening to their problems, helping with exam prep, assisting with chores, and so on – creates a sense of belonging and security, both for the one receiving support and the one giving it. Be a team. You’re stronger together.
Expect mistakes and forgive. Nobody’s going to be perfect. Instead of shaming, use mistakes as opportunities to grow. “What can we learn from this?” is a better response than, “How could you mess up like that?” After talking about what happened, forgive. Grace goes a long way toward building emotional health.
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Tags: family, healthy family, relationships